AN OFFERING
Dr Suvarna Nalapat
“ Unfortunately we have had to leave some important selections out because the translations ‘failed’…very reluctantly we had to abandon the effort to translate BalamaniAmma ,a major Malayalam poet of the 1940’s and 50’s because her grand public verse about motherhood presupposes an ethos we found difficult to recreate in the context of few poems and a short biography”(Preface XX11-XX111 Women writing in India 600 BC to the present vol 1 ,Ed Susie Tharu and K.Lalitha)
This is my humble attempt to do the impossible,as an offering to Balamani Amma who initiated me into the beauties of poetry and fantasies.She was not just a poet who celebrated motherhood,but had a very high philosophical and social message in her poems.Simply because of that ,I felt I should translate at least some of them,for the coming generations ,who cannot read Malayalam.
1.An old woman
Unni playing in sand
Dawn’s sunshine
Around.
The old woman came near
Telling sweet stories.
She made canals in mud
With her nails
Boats with dry leaves
Palace with twigs
King with a wood-piece
Queen with stone.
Unni laughed
His eyes sparkled.
For him
She is not a mad begger woman
A grandmother
Who knows secrets of
Child’s play.
She told Unni
Children threw stones
Injured her
Women removed clothes of hers
Why nieclothes for a mad one!
Her hungry children died.
Unni’s face reddened
Lips quivered
His breath was hot.
Her eyes
That never saw kindness before
Brightened
As moonshine.
Xxx xxxx xxxx
Noon..
She came to kitchen door
Calling
Where is unni?
Call him,I want to see.
I remembered kindly
She had been his playmate once.
She came and sat below the mangotree
Unni kept food in his pockets
Just for her
They enjoyed fragments of days
In childish plays
I told her
He is in town
Studying.
The face darkened
“Will come before Vishu”
Xxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The bygone year’s chariot wheels
Rolled and spread
As voice of crackers.
The old woman came
Shaking and crying
“Where is Unni ,mine?”
Unni was with guest
His classmate
Eating niceties
Thinking about art programmes
In words sour and hot
New knowledge around.
He opened the window a little
Light spread outside
A fiery look he threw out
And a harsh word
“what nuisance!”
Far off,
A cracker burst
Burnt
With shaking legs
She returned
In my hands
A coin shivered!
2.Doves
Doves whisper
In my roof
When wind’s heat decrease
Shadows increase.
I saw them in temple yards
When winds awoke
And earth cool.
Slowly moving in white sands
Strong anklets in legs
Unable to fly.
Some like fragments of sky
Blue
Others lovely
As white lily blossoms.
I called out
“My new house near fields
I will feed you with grains
A nice cage at housetop
New and safe for you
Come ,come”
Poor birds
They left waving
Wings .
They are children of purity
Not searching grains in a houseyard
Where dirt accumulate
With just a light rain.
My house is old now.
In every nook and corner
Footprints of bygone era.
Many rains washed the yard clean
Now they have come,
The universal travelers of peace.
They occupied this
Senile bamboo cage’s housetop
And ring out “OM”
Giving bliss.
3.The lantern
Lantern,
Wonderful essence of
Dawn and twilight
That flicker in world’s corner
The finger of consciousness
That points to path of bliss.
Do not look down
At shadows spreading
Cold beds around.
Let smokeless light pleasing
Raise from your bud’s
Atoms of wisdom.
And flow to far off places.
Let the hands
That poured oil
And lighted wicks
Be any one’s.
Its aim
Be a laugh at
Darkness’s rush.
Forest winds shake
Body dried
Soul shivered
Let not a cinder
That can burn cities
Be formed in you!!!!
4.Group song
Fire-glow
Of yuga’s dawn
Reach unseen.
Move,our chariots
In glowing morning sunlight
Through fields fullgrown
And mountains stream-flown
Chariots,fly and move
Through peaceful heights
Enjoying humanities life-force
Know the ecstacy of God.
5.I saw Krishna
“Who has seen Krishna?
On earth?
What is in a temple?
No God .
Just imagination”
“Truth is only that is seen
Say intelligentia.
Man may kill
Or give food to ant.
What is seen by an ant?”
“Can the unseen truth
Be seen in stone-image?
Can it be caught in nets
Sewn of songs
And vain stories!”
“His form like lightening
Fades upon eyes
Stays in memory
Shadows fall
In stone,pages and songs”
In that quarrel
Intervened an old maid
A servant with
Milky white hair
Broom in hand ,
A grandmother.
“I have seen,
See every day,
Dark Kannan.
At end of night
He comes out
Of the lighted temple.
Kind eyes,
Clothed just like Unni,
Flute in hand,
Naughty boy.
Wandering and
Entering homes.
When footsteps fall
Tender red leaves
Fruits and flowers appear.
Wherever eyes fall
Eight prosperities shine.
Cows flow nectar-milk
Hearing that music.
Mukthi tothose
Touched by his breath.
People whose eyes fall
On nothing else
See and enjoy
Kannan.”
When she recited her
Own experience
Bright-eyed,passionate
We ,with our arguments
Looks on ,spell-bound!
6.Brahmamuhoortham
When I awoke
In early hours
You were asleep
Covered in soft blue silk
I enjoyed the sweetness in your heart
The beauty of speedless moments.
Your breath,fragrance
Of peace
On my head,
I remembered a sea ,waveless
Each duty seen as vain,
immerse in bliss
consciousness of
absolute truth!
When you are awake,
And smile at me
I get up,and run
As in yesteryears
On dining table
Pots bright in sunlight
Toys different around!
7.Wave of bliss
Pleasure,
The golden wave moving,
Untouched by hands
Is water,
Spreading cold,around
A swimming body.
One who knows this
Is ecstatic
Has known bliss!
8.One among a crore.
You awoke,
Flower,
Internalizing dawn
Swaying,straightening
Counting fingers
In flowing water
Before raising folded hands to darkness
Realise,
You are only
One among a crore!
9.Sin
(About assassination of Mahathma Gandhi)
You faded years before.
Your form faded away from memory.
Charkkaas broken.
Idle in house corners.
People listen to
Himsa’s success roars.
I remember the day you left,
I was standing by ocean shore.
Racing waves
Fearing night
Flowing blended with blood.
Tear-worn ,supplicating,’
I saw my feet too
Immersed in that
Red water!
10.Angel
You have nested in me!
Your downfeathers dropped
My head whitened
Welcome,old age,
You are not
Carnivorous eagle,
But prosperous dove!
When time came,
You arrived searching for
My soul
From unknown far-away fields
From gardens where life’s dreams bloom
Like a singing bird
In bygone spring.
Day of birth
Sown these seeds
Fruits in the minute worlds
And angel,you came
To give those fruits
Sweetless,sourless!
Those who love life
And the world
Desire to see you.
When you come with
Soft silent steps
Routine paths
Become beautiful
Fragrance of bliss
Spread in air
Bygone days rush
At glass doors.
Make nest in my forehead
Give shadow to brain
That is hot with
Moving wheel of world.
In tear-dried lean cheek
Make deep canals
With your nails.
Close ears and prevent
Cruel gossips and arguments
Remove hardness from mouth
Rest work-worn limbs.
But do not conquer
The eyes,
Enjoying eternity in
Books ,children
And the dawn.
11.When sunlight fades
Chidaathmika,
Who awakened my body
In life’s dawn,
Who gave
Heat and pleasures
Of human relationships
Through mother’s milk,
Secrets which kept
Time’s essence
As beautiful colours
And sounds
In me!
Mother,
Who cooled my heart,
With sky blue
Earth green
In noon’s heat.
When twilight’s shadows
Fall on me
Your touch is soft.
Your smile attractive.
Your call rise
Dearest of all calls!
When darkness engulfs
You will be near
To light twilight wicks
And to burn stars!
12.Song of bliss
With snow-clad mountains
Watching sky-heights
With crashing waves
Breaking objections
With heated trees
Trying to spread shadows below
With countless life-atoms
Drinking,enjoying heaven’s lights
With birds flying
And singing above the peace of the green
With perceptions dear
Dancing in sensory fields
Uniting earth and sky….
Is it me?
Or the eternal bliss of the world?
13.Soul’s nest
With which call
Did I come?
While measuring sun’s path
Both wings tired
Primal nest,
Your open door
And soft blue bed
Eyes see!
14.Gurupoornima
Around this spreading night
My imaginations fly
Again and again.
How fragrant
The flowers offered
By world!
Today,
Earth mother’s heart opens,
To flow paraa bliss
In moonshine
Oceans chant the veda
World is in Samadhi.
Himalayan peaks and
City-dwellings
Receive on foreheads
Blessings of sacred Guru alike.
Beaches vast
With fishermen’s huts
Markets laughing at famines
Immerse in flowing love
Of liberated souls!
Salutations to you,
Great men and women,
Bodied,disembodied!
Knowingly immersed in the waves
Soldiers lay down arms,
Sick sleep painless
Sinners searches lost laws
Earth’s best imaginations
Progressing through
Three yaamaas,
Your purity spreads
In sky
Softness vibrates
In air!
Eternally hungry children
Of earth
Carrying war,pain,despair
Open their heart’s buds.
Let ecstacy drops ,peace
For tomorrow
Be lingered on them!!!
15.Light of God
Where moments
Pure,bliss-tied
Dance and flow
Like streams
Where forest trees
That gave shades to
Sages of foregone era
Gives eternal green
To every thought,
Where truth-seeking pragna
See warring cruelty
As vehicle of kindness,
Where fellow beings seen as
God-consciousness
Decorating Adiprakrithi,
Wish-fulfilling Dharma,
Thy Jyothi,
May raise me
To the heights !
16.Eternity
Snow drips deep into soil
Stars fade
Day merge in night
Eyes reflecting earth
Close again,
I hang on
To eternity’s edge.
Each thought weightless
Touch and fly
Pure bliss
Blue bright sky
Limitless consciousness fields
What else beyond ?
Can there be life
Without birdsongs
Leafy colours
New paddy smells
Honey sweet
And touch of infants?
Imagination enjoy
In life of famous bright worlds
In stories of afterbirths
Germinated in bright light
It cannot know
Absolute darkness.
Transcending time-space
One becomes
Unmanifested atom
Of creation.
Today’s lamplights
Cannot reach there!
But I am not a body
But Athma,
I am not going to dust
Tomorrow,
I live forever!
17 Soham
Life-flower
Blossoming with
Thousand petals,
Thousand colours
Each day drips honey in you
Your fragrance spreads around
As universe,
In secrecy of your stem beneath
Beats the creator’s murmer,
“soham,soham”.
When devas and asuraas
Come to gather honey from you,
In quarrelling rushes
Petals fade in heat,
Shadows shorten
Dustwinds blown
From beyond
Expanse of poverty,the absolute chants
“soham ,soham”
When bright worlds open,
At end of day,
Airfields spread
Silk beds
Tired flies vanish
Santhi’s music
Around
“soham,soham,”
Its waves
Embraces countless
Life-flowers!!!
18.To fields
Heaven’s lights
In eyes,heart and feet
And around.
Sunrays,heaven’s fingers
Extend to souls
While life
Closing light-wings
Stand near fields,
For a moment,
Tired from running
Through worlds
Of iron and thunderbolts,
No buildings to block view
Here lies an expanse
Praised by eternal lights
Singing ,
Creation’s seed-songs.
Vanish,
The screams of machines
Enchained by men,
Hear,
Infant’s soft wails from huts,
Awaken,
Consciousness,
For dead
Memorials namesake built,
For God
The embodied earth
Golden temples built
How many seedlings
Future’s destroyed
By snow,rain,whirlwinds!
Paddy sings,
“Prosperity grows,
Matures,bear fruits
Only in kindness,wet”.
Plants whisper
The Bhagyasooktha,
To those who cut their heads
“Let us gain worth with
Those who battle with life
To grow us
By sacrificing us”.
Shanthi grew from fields
We turned and lost sight
Of fruits
On our upturned heads..
Fields,
Earth’s upturned plates
In them sunlight boiled
The hunters of primal forests
Threw away weapons
Cattlegrowing wanderers
Built homes around.
We,
To raise from
Dirt of fields
To sew wings of currency
Cross universities,
Research centers
Money markets
Art galleries
Churning life’s truths
For new era
Movements even to
Brambles
In progress!
The fields call us,
When hungry.
To blossom lands
To make gains fruitful,
In this colourless earth
Innocents
Still continue
Sathwik sacrifices.
In it rooted
Civilizations
Rising to moon
Are still preserved!!!
